Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
