apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
did you just send me my own nude
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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