Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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