you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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