I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
