moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
