You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
