OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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