His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
