Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
