You really coming over, don't trick.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
