brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
