Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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