Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
