We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
