She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
