youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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