I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
