If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
