And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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