Umm I'm too high to move.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
