I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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