dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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