just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
