it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
