So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
