Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize