Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
