she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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