Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
