:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
