He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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