WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize