Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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