There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
