It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
