There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize