you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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