i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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