Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
