I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
