i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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