I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
