We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i need an iv and a liver transplant
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
