You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
