Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
