I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my shit smells like andre
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
