that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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