She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
