He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
