he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
