so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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