Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
