Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
