Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
White coat. Heels.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
