if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
