WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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