White coat. Heels.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
