he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
should my penis look like a turkey
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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