She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
