just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Even my vagina gasped.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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