can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
