i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
