He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
