I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
